


With only the memories

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex honestly has no self esteem, Amnesiac Alex, F8 for your man John, Heavy Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Nevis has not treated Alex very well, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past is not so nice, Please protect my son, Sadness, leave me alone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-08-18 06:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8151737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Six years.That's how long Alexander Hamilton has been in a coma. After six years, you give up hope. John Laurens knows this better than anyone. He still visits the hospital, even after learning to accept it. That's life. So when John gets a phone call from Alex's hospital, he couldn't be any more happy.But there's a catch. The last thing Alex can remember is arriving in States. He doesn't remember the Schuylers.He doesn't remember Laf or Hercules.He doesn't remember Maria, or Aaron Burr. And he certainly doesn't remember John.





	1. Patient 507

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Originally I had written more but I trashed it. Updates random. 
> 
> Comments are nice. I love feedback. Please don't hesitate to leave one!

When Alex opened his eyes, he was met with bright lights flashing in his eyes, and loud, continuous beeps.

His mouth was dry, and he couldn’t move his body. Things were poking into him, he felt. Into his arms, legs, nose, and even his hands.

Slowly but surely the world came into focus. He was staring at a ceiling, with a light shining on him. Some strength was coming back to him. He wiggled his fingers, and moved his arms around.

It took a lot of his strength, but he set himself into an upright position, grasping onto the bed rails for dear life.

He was in the hospital, that much was clear, but why was the real question. His throbbing headache became evident, along with the rest of the pain in his body, as he racked his brain for answers.

It scared him how little he knew, actually. All he could remember at the moment was arriving in America from Nevis. His whole village had been wiped out by the hurricane, and people had fund-raised for him to go to the USA. That’s when he realized something.

His mother was dead.

The more he explored his memories, the more he remembered his mothers love and kindness, and how she worked so hard when his father left, or how the little medicine they had was always given to him when they were both sick.

He looked around the room. Beside him was a desk, filled with cards, notes, and a little remote that probably belonged to the TV in front of him. Outside his door some people- probably doctors- were speaking.

“New patient?” a woman asked. “Yup. I think she needs to take Room 409. You know, this one.” there was a tap on his door. This voice sounded like a man.

“Let me guess. Car accident, medically induced coma?” the woman sighed loudly.

“Yup. Would you start relocating Mr. Hamilton, please?”

“Yes sir. I don’t even know why he’s here still it’s obvious he’s never going to wake up. His friends just need to accept that.” 

“I completely agree but that’s just what people do, you know?” the man said sympathetically.

“I know, but it’s been six years, you know? They need to let him go. I’ll start moving him, you prepare the patient.”

“Alright.” Heavy footsteps walked away from them

Alex sat dazed for a minute. ‘Six years… I’ve been in here for six years...”

Before he could decide what that meant, he heard a ‘click’ at his door. It opened, a young female nurse peering at him. Her mouth opened, and gaped at him.

He tried to speak, but nothing would come out. His throat was extremely dry, and hurt because of the attempt.

It took the nurse a few moments, but she broke the silence. “I-i-impossible...”

She ran out of the room, yelling “Patient 507 is awake! I need Dr. Jackson stat!”

It didn’t take long before a tall man came barging in, forcing him back down.

Alex tried to fight back with all his strength, but barely being able to move your arms and legs doesn’t get you far.

The man who was apparently Dr. Jackson noticed. “Calm down, Alexander. Relax, relax.”

His attempts didn’t do very much, and in fact made him panic more.

He felt something poke itself into his wrists, startling him. His vision was fading, senses leaving him once more.

Eventually he fell into a fitful sleep.


	2. Goldeens Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John gets a phone call that will change his life. 
> 
> What does it mean when Alex can't answer a single question about himself right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies! Im glad to see people enjoyed the last chapter.
> 
> I do plan to update as frequently as I can but please don't attack me if I disappear for two days, mkay?

John Laurens didn’t want many things in life. For one, he wanted his best friend Lafayette to stop coming up with stupid ideas. 

“I was thinking a British party, since she’s coming from London. Halfway through you’re going to come in with five bags of tea, and dump it in the bath tub.”

Currently they were planning a surprise party for the return of Angelica Schuyler the eldest Schuyler sister.

“Ooh, you should be riding a Bald Eagle, Mon Ami.”

John laughed at his friends antics. “Sounds good, but the problem is where the hell are we going to get an eagle?” 

“Catch one.”

Lafayette leaned back into the couch pretending to throw a Lasso in the sky. 

“Like back in the day of the cowboy.” He tried to do his best cowboy accent, but it mixed with his prominent French accent, making it sound like a bad attempt at Australian.

John laughed. “Okay, Laf. Whatever you want.” Suddenly his phone vibrated in his pocket, putting his Spongebob ringtone on blast.

“I love this song! You must, how you say, ‘turn it up, fam.’”

‘It’s the best day everrrrrrrrrr.’ His phone went as the two laughed.

“Alright, I should probably answer.” John stepped into his bedroom, hitting answer, before putting the phone up to his ear. 

“Hello?”

“Is this John Laurens?” a female voice asked. 

“Yes ma’am.” 

“This is Goldeens Hospital, and I’m calling about Alexander Hamilton.”

The second John heard that name his heart dropped. 

Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens were more than just friends to say the least. 

Their relationship started when Alex had broken up with Eliza, because everyone both knew they were trying to hide their raging gayness.

Eventually Alex came out as Bi, Eliza as lesbian, and broke up. 

John and Alex became a thing in their senior year of college, after a bit of alcohol and a quite a bit of crying. 

Everyone truly thought they would be together forever. 

That was until the accident. 

Of course. 

'The accident’ that took his reason to smile. 

His reason to laugh. 

His reason to cry. 

His reason to live.

For some time after, John almost never left his bed, lost a lot of weight, and became more distant.

In fact, his friends intervened the day before he planned to kill himself. 

He’s gotten better, of course, but there are some days when the other side of the bed is cold, and he can’t help but think ‘Why did this happen to him? He didn’t deserve this.'

“Sir? Are you alright sir?” John snapped back into reality, releasing the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Yes, I’m fine. What about Alex?” 

“He woke up, earlier this evening.”

John stood there for a moment, unable to comprehend what was just said to him. There was no way his Alex was awake. Not after six years, of the visits and torture of holding a cold hand, and longing to look at those deep brown eyes one more time. Not now. 

“E-E-excuse me… What?”

“Alexander Hamilton woke up this evening at 2:16.”

Time seemed to stop and then speed up again, as his heart beat faster and his veins pumped harder.

His fingers turned white as he held his phone the tightest he could.

“Please let me visit him! Oh god… Please, I really need to see him. Pleasepleaseplease.”

“Dr. Jackson said no visitors as we run tests to make sure he is stable. You should be able to visit tomorrow.”

“Okay… Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome. Have a nice day sweetie.” She hung up, leaving him there. His mind seemed to be drawing a blank, trying to find an answer to a question that didn’t exist. 

He stepped out of the room to which Lafayette was now writing possible party ideas. 

John threw himself into Laf’s arms as his emotions exploded. 

He cried like he never had before, tears rolling down faster and faster as he cried.

The French man engulfed him into a hug, rubbing circles on his back, trying to calm him down.

“Shh…Shh…it’s okay. Tell me what happened, Mon Ami.”

“It’s about Alex.” John tried to choke back a sob, but failed. 

Lafayette’s face hardened, hugging John tighter.   
“I’m so sorry. He was a great per-“

“He’s awake.” John sniffled. “And we can visit him tomorrow.”

Lafayette smiled. He pulled John into his arms, and never stopped smiling.

“You’re joking.” Lafayette said, his happiness extremely evident. 

“No.” John smiled too. He should be happy. He has every right to be. 

Lafayette wiped his tears. “Mon ami, relax okay? That way tomorrow will come faster. I’ll tell everyone, okay.”

‘Tomorrow will never come fast enough.’ John thought as he climbed himself into bed and forced himself to sleep.

 

Alex woke up in the same room as before, with Dr. Jackson beside him. 

He smiled. “Hello, Alex.”

Alex tried to respond, only a small squeal escaping his throat.

“That’s good. Your voice should be coming back soon. Now, tomorrow you have visitors coming. Everything in your body is stable, but we need to run one more test. Is that okay?”

‘Visitors? Who wants to visit me? I just got here… probably the social worker hired to drive me to that foster home, or whatever.' He thought.

A whiteboard was placed in his lap, along with a marker, and a box of tissues.

“Okay, Alexander, I need you to answer a few questions. First question, what year is it?”

Alex blinked. He didn’t know what year it was. He didn’t try adding two years together, because he still didn’t know what the hell was going on.

He opened the marker, and wrote ‘I don’t know.’

“That’s fine, I don’t blame you. It’s 2016, Alex.”

‘2016?!? What the fuck?!? When we got in the plane it was… 2001.That’s 15 years. Are they lying to me? I’m so confused.’ 

“Next question. Why are you in the hospital?” 

‘Okay, this is getting ridiculous.’ Once again, he didn’t know. He didn’t even know how long he’d been in here. Maybe this was all a prank? 

He wrote, again, ‘I don’t know.’

“Okay. That’s normal, people don’t usually remember why their here. Final question. Okay, how old are you?”

‘That would be easy if I knew what the hell is going on.’ He sighed and wrote down the last age he remembered being. 

“No Alex, you’re not sixteen. You’re thirty-one.” He wrote down something on his clipboard.

‘Thirty one?!? Now that’s impossible. If it’s true I’ve been in here six years then I’d be 22 at the most.’ he shuddered at the thought.

"That’s all for now. I suggest going to bed. Visitors are coming tomorrow, and it’s going to be VERY emotional. I suggest you take the sleeping pills I set out for you.”

Dr. Jackson left the room. Alexander, did what he was told. All his energy was drained, and sleep sounded pretty nice. 

He closed his eyes, and let the pills take him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there's John! 
> 
> Please leave a comment if you would be so kind. 
> 
> They give me L I F E.


	3. Go on up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SOSOSO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN OVER A WEEK.
> 
> IVE TRIED TO WRITE THIS CHAPTER SO MANY TIMES BUT I ALWAYS DELEYE IT OR I DONT SAVE BUT I FINALLY DID IT WRITE SO ENJOY!

John anxiously bit his nails raw. The road to the hospital was bumpy and one he hadn't traveled in a long time.

The car was silent, the only sound to be heard was their quiet breaths.

Hercules was driving his eyes glued to the road, Laf beside him staring out the window with a blank expression on his face.

The silence gnawed at John's inside. It had never been this quiet. He didn't like it one bit.

Finally, Herc broke the silence. "Hey....John.....I need you to promise me something."

John looked up at him curiously. "Okay?"

"I know when we get there you probably want to be pretty lovey-dovey with Alex to the point where it's kind of...well...aggressive."

John raised his eyebrow. Damn straight he was going to be lovey-dovey with Alex. This is the first time in six fuckimg years Alex's eyes could open and look back at him, or love him back.

He snapped back to reality when Herc continued. "Promise me you'll be careful with him. He's probably pretty weak right now....and maybe a little confused...But just be careful, okay?"

"Oh...I didn't think of that." John shrunk in his seat, mentally shaming himself. "I promise."

"The Schuyler's are there, mon ami."

Ah yes. The Schyuler sisters.

There was Angelica. She was the oldest. She was cunning and witty, and loved  her her sisters more than she loved anything else.

Then there was Eliza. She was caring, and so sweet. She loved everyone, and was the type of person you just fell in love with the second you met her.

And Peggy. Peggy was reckless. She was the youngest Schyuler, and she was wild, and crazy. She pushed everyone out of  their comfort zone and had confidence like you couldn't believe.

Together they were the Schyuler sisters. They made each other whole.

Eventually the car stopped in the parking lot of Goldeens hospital. They all got out, and silently walked toward the automatic doors. When they entered, they instantly spotted the girls who were sitting in white lobby chairs.

They lobby itself was huge. It's two main colors were a dull white, and a swampish green, the colors alternating on the walls. The floor was blue, and had a paint splatter effect, that looked cool, but didn't go with the rest of the lobby.

They walked over to where they were sitting.

Eliza looked like she had been crying a bit, but not too much.

They all did one group hug, Angelica in the center, since she just got back from London.

"Angelica! How was London?" Laf asked.

"Unimportant! What is important is that we go see Alex. Come on!" She jogged over to the front desk.

The lady looked up and smiled, her dark hair falling on her eyes. "What can I do for you?"

John pushed forward. "We're here to see Alexander Hamilton."

"Ah, yes." The receptionist hummed. "He's infamous around the hospital. It was a big deal he woke up. Any who, the doctor is waiting for you outside his room. Go on up, it's room 409, fourth floor."

"Thank you!" John said before bolting to the elevator.

"No running!" The nurse called out behind him.

Eliza apologized for his behavior, before they rest of them (calmly) walked to the elevator beside him.

 

"One more time."

"My name is Alexander Hamilton, I'm from Nevis."

The nurse smiled at Alex. "Perfect. Nothing seems be wrong with your vocal cords. That's all the tests we're going to do today."

"Okay ma'am."

"I'll be back tomorrow. Some visitors should be here any minute now. Have a good day, Alex." She smiled as she left.

Now it was the waiting game. Alex assumed his visitors were lawyers of some sort, though he couldn't come up with why, they'd want to see him.

He pondered for a minute, when he heard shuffling outside his door. Almost like deja vu, he heard voices outside his door.

"Hi, you must be John Laurens." He recognized Dr. Jackson's voice.

"Yes sir." This voice belonged to a man, one who sounded very nervous and jittery. He never heard this voice before.

"Yesterday Alex was asked a few questions about himself. He got all three of them wrong."

As soon as the doctor said this there where multiple gasps. There was more then one person going to see him. Before he could ponder what that meant, the doctor continued.

"Now the first two, we expect our patients to get wrong. It's the third question that worries me. We asked him how old he was. We expected him to say 26, which is also not correct, but would have confirmed his memory is most likely fine. He answered 16."

More gasps, along with a few murmurs, were heard.

"That's it. We just wanted to warn you of possible memory loss. We don't know if it's temporary or permanent, or if he's better now, but it's nice to know in advance if it is memory loss. Go on in."

Alex heard the doctor's footsteps trail away. The knob on his door shook before slowly turning.

When it finally opened the first man that stepped in was actually rather attractive. He had long brown curly hair that reached his shoulders, and freckles that sprinkled his face. He had a face of awe as he stepped toward Alex, as if he was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen.

Suddenly his arms were around Alex's neck and he was sobbing.

"Oh god...Alex..I..I've missed you so much and-fuck I've... God-I just- I'm pathetic right now...I love you so much."

Before he had a chance to process and respond to this, he was engulfed in the tightest hug he'd ever been in.

He was in more arms then he could count. So many voices were calling out to him, saying his name.

"Mon ami!"

"Alex!"

"Oh god, it's actually you..."

"Alex my man!"

"We missed you so much."

"Welcome back, Alex."

Alex was so flustered and bewildered that he didn't even realize they had let go at first. He didn't know who any of these people were, as they looked at him expectantly.

He swallowed the lump in his throat.

It took all his courage to ask the question that was screaming in his mind.

"Who are you people?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! It took a lot of effort to get this chapter up, so please don't hesitate to leave a kudo or drop a comment! They give me L I F E.


	4. This is a joke right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex may be physically fine, but now he's been diagnosed with amnesia, and it goes downhill from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, this is where the angst begins! Enjoy my children!
> 
> ALSO: I usually don't result in shameless self-promo but this is a special occasion. If you could check out, my other fic "Totally not a prince" that'd be swell. It's kingbury, which I know is not a very popular ship, but go give it a go PLEASEEEE.

Alexander could always silence a room with his words. With the intensity, passion, and beauty he put into them. His words were the type that would hit you in the face, yet you would always want to listen.

However, he's never shushed a room with four words. Never shushed a room with confusion. But then again, Alexander Hamilton was never confused. John Laurens knew this better then anyone.

Everyone just stood there for a moment. No one said anything, as Alex stared at them as if they were insane. 

Then, John actually laughed. "Okay, good joke, but seriously. We missed you."

Alex had the most dumbfounded look on his face. "Do I know you?"

"Alex stop joking." John didn't laugh this time, his voice sounding desperate.

"Okay, who are you again? Maybe we met at the airport." 

"Oh god, your serious." John tightly clutched the smal boy, finger nails digging into his shoulders. "No no no no no, Alex you can't do this to me. I waited six years for this moment. You can't do this to me-please don't do this to me. Come on, it's me John." John bargained, trying everything he could think of.

"Okay, can someone tell me who you people are. It's obvious you're not lawyers."

John let go of Alex, banging his head against the wall instead. "Lawyers. The first thing he thinks of is lawyers!" John sobbed.

There was a steady flow of tears streaming down John's face.

Laf took John into his arms. He rubbed circles into his back, Laf burying himself in John's shoulder. Herc joined in, making it one big hug.

Angelica had a blank face. For the first time in her life she had no idea what to do. She just held Eliza and Peggy in her arms, both were clutching her tightly. 

Eliza was weeping.Everyone hated hearing Eliza cry. That was because when she did, it was so full of emotion and heart-break. It would fill the room, choking you, squeezing tears out of your eyes.

Peggy's eyes were damp. She was biting her lip, no doubt to try and fight back tears making their way through her eyes. It took all the ststrength in her small body to stand. 

Laf silently let tears fall out of his eyes. He was careful not to make a sound, he needed to comfort John instead.

Herc was silent, his lips pursed. His eyes were emotionless, as he held the two crying friends.

Alex looked at the sobbing mess in the room. He instantly felt bad, because apparently he knew these people. And they loved him.

What a joke.

No one had loved him since his mom died. So why would strangers?

Still, they seemed to know him, so maybe he could try to comfort them.

"Hey...listen. I'm going to assume that I knew you. I don't know what happened or why I'm here, or how you even know me, since I've only just arrived at the states-"

"Alex, you've been in the U.S for 15 fucking years." John said through his tears. 

Shit. Everyone was crying harder now. He said the wrong thing. He tried to save himself.

"Oh... Well besides that I can tell that...I knew you. Please, just talk to me?"

John looked up. He broke himself away from Laf, walking towards the bed. He stood right in front of Alex now. 

Alex smiled politely at John, quickly recalling his name. "Your John, rig-" 

Before Alex could finish, John's mouth was on his, furiously moving his lips on Alex's.

Alex couldn't do anything, he was bound to the bed. He tried to push John off, but he was too strong.

"John!" Someone shrieked. It was Laf, who pulled John off Alex. 

Alex took a breath, before rubbing his lips. "What the fuck was that?!?"

"Sorry... I just had to do that one more time."

"One more time? What the hell are you talking about?" 

John flashed him a sad look, before burying his face in his hands.

There was a knock at the door. Herc released Laf and answered it. It was Dr. Jackson. 

"So how is hi-" All it took was one good look around the room to realize the answer to his question. He sighed and tapped his pen on his keyboard. "How bad is it."

"I don't think he can remember anything after arriving to U.S." Angelica responded, looking down as she picked at her fingers.

"What is their to remember?" Alex asked with confusion. 

The doctor furrowed his brow, and wrote something down. 

"Okay. I'm going to go ahead a diagnose him with amnesia. Type is unclear. Don't lose hope, though. You might be able to trigger his memories. Maybe a familiar scent, or a certain object. I'll be back later." He left the room in a swift motion.

"Trigger his memories?" Herc asked hopefully.

"With a scent or object. Think." Laf said hopefully, as everyone launched themselves into thought.

"Hello? I still have no clue who you are."

"Coconuts." 

Peggy startled everyone as she stood up excitedly. "Coconuts." She said again.

"What about them?" Angelica asked. 

"Alex always said John smelled like coconuts. Try that." Peggy suggested, as she walked over to a dumb-founded Alex. 

"Oh yeah!" Eliza recalled, springing to her feet. "Quick John!"

After quickly realizing what he had to do, John walked over to the bed, sitting next to Alex, putting his head next to his, his hair surrounding the side of Alex's shoulder. This was the position they used to cuddle in. John never thought he'd never do it again, but life has the tendancy to turn the world upside down.

"What are you doing?"

John shushed him, burying his face in Alex's shoulder. The memories of nights like this came back, and the possibility they might come back made John want to scream out in joy, that he could have his Alex back.

If only life weren't so cruel.

"Well, you do smell like coconuts, I'll give you that."

"So, you don't remember me at all?" John's voice cracked when he said this, the little moment of bliss draining him.

"Uh, no." 

Respectfully, he got up and trudged back towards Laf.

"We can't give up. 'Liza, he always loved your perfume right? Well go on." Angelica kept thinking of ways to bring him back.

Soon, they had gone through everything in their purses and pockets, trying a variety of things, from Peggy's red lipstick, to the breathmints Herc always kept in his pocket.

"It's hopeless." John sludged against the wall, tears poking out his eyes.

"No John. Don't you fucking say that. We're going to figure out something. But. Don't. You. Fucking. Say. That." Peggy said, sounding more confident then she actually was. 

"Has it ever occurred to you people that I still don't know who you are?" 

Laf flashed a patient smile.

"My name is Lafayette. Well actually it's way longer, but I won't put you through that."

"And I'm Angelica. Angelica Schyuler. We were pretty close."

"I'm Eliza. We dated for awhile... Before we broke up, when I came out as lesbian."

"And I'm Peggy. You gave me the first achoholic drink I've ever had." She laughed at herself.

"I'm Hercules Mulligan. We used to watch Hercules all the time." Herc recalled.

Finally, John stepped forward. "Hey Alex. It's me John. You probably think I'm insane or I'm a dick. But I miss you. A lot. It's hard to be a good boyfriend when your partner doesn't remember who you are." John slightly laughed at himself.

"B-boyfriends?" Alex stuttered.

"We've been dating for nine years."

"No way we co-"

"John Laurens?" A nurse poked in.

"Yes?"

"The doctor wants to talk to you about medication." John nodded, standing up. He weakly smiled before leaving the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there we have it. Oh the angst is coming, can you feel it?
> 
> Please don't hesitate to leave Kudos or comments! They give me life!


	5. I'd never hurt you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They always wondered what life on Nevis was like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a bit of a long time to update but school is shit. 
> 
> Any who... WTF WHY DOES THIS HAVE OVER 1000 VIEWS
> 
> THATS A LOT 
> 
> AND OVER 100 KUDOS? 
> 
> HOT DAMN GUYS YOUR GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. 
> 
> THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR OVERWHELMING SUPPORT
> 
> Also: This chapter is a little short due to the fact I wanted to get it out quickly and that it's been the same scene for 3 chapters
> 
> Enjoy!

Alex sat in his bed, stuck in a daze. 

There was no way in hell this was happening. 

He'd never met any of these people in his life, much less his supposed boyfriend.

Lafayette looked at him with the most broken, strained eyes. "Alex... What's the last thing you remember?"

Alex blinked and scratched his head. He thought for a moment. "I was at the airport waiting for the social worker. I can't remember a thing after that." His eyes widened as he grew frantic. 

"Did they do anything?!? Are they why I'm here?!? What happened?!?" Alex felt his breath uneven, his heart speeding up. 

Someone put a hand on his shoulder. He shriveled at the touch, looking up to see who it was. 

He shrunk in fear. 

It was Hercules. The other guy that came with them. 

He hadn't spoke much, but Alex hadn't realized how big he was. He was 6'5 at the least. He had muscles that showed he worked out on a regular basis. He could kill someone like Alex. 

He yelped and pleadingly put his hands together. 

"Please don't hurt me. I'll do anything! What do you want? Money? My luggage? Me? " Alex begged on the verge of tears. 

He should have said that. Everyone's eyes were burning through him, faces twisted with concern. 

Alex didn't even notice John standing in the doorway, his mouth a gape.

Hercules was the one who broke the silence. "First off, Alex I would never hurt you. Secondly-"

"What the fuck do you mean by 'me'?"

Herc was cut off by the girl wearing the red. 

She had a mix of fury and worry in her voice. 

Alex looked down, mentally kicking himself for saying that. 

John walked towards his bed, taking his hand in his. 

"Is there something you need to tell us?" 

Alex gulped. "Back on Nevis, when someone puts their hands on your shoulder, they want one of three things. Your money. Your life. Or your body. It's never happened to me before, but I've seen it happen before. It's one of the worst things you can ever see." He shuddered at the memory. 

The truth was that was a lie. It has happened to him. Once. 

He was walking alone going home after working his job at the dock, which paid shit.

It was a month before he left for the U.S. He remembered how cold it was, and how the strangers breath felting his neck-

Alex shuddered and forced himself not to think about it.  
He prayed to every god he knew and hoped they bought his lie. 

He heard multiple sighs of reliefs from around the room. John only gripped him tighter. "Good." he said relieved. 

Eliza spoke up after being silent for all of this. "Alex, we love you. We're your friends, even if you don't remember us, we care about you." Her words were filled with love and compassion and Alex desperately wished they were true.

But he knew better. Life would never let him have friends. 

"What a joke." Alex murmered under his breath. 

Apparently they had heard. "And why is that?" Lafayette asked. 

Alex stared at them all sadly. The dream he could have friends was a far from accomplishable dream. Alex isn't capable of being loved. 

"I'm not allowed to have friends." He said coldly. 

Alex always managed to confuse them. He didn't even need memories to do it.

"What?" asked an extremely confused Eliza.

Alex sighed. "Do I need to spell it out? I can't have friends. I'm not allowed to have friends. I'm a bastard. I'm an orphan. I'm a son of a whore. I'm a fucking disappointment. I am literally going to amount to nothing. The fact I managed to bullshit my way to America is pretty amazing in itself. But friends? That's to big of a stretch for me to get. Everyone I've ever fucking met says the same thing. "Alex your worthless." And everything I've done with my life shows it. I can't have people who care about me, let alone someone who loves me. I'm sorry, but go home. You're wasting your time on me." Alex's voice was emotionless. In all honesty, he was just done. If only disease had taken Alex instead of his mother. She didn't deserve it.

"Alex, don't you ever fucking say that. Do you have any idea how much you've done? You graduated college with honors, you're a published author. You are the secretory of treasury, you've made history. Do you how much I love you? I honestly just want to show you how much I love you right here and now, but I shall restrain myself for the greater good. Everyone here is here for you. Why? Because we love you. We don't want to see you like this. Alex your not a disappointment . I don't think I can see you beat yourself up for much longer. Please. I love you, you're not worthless." John was holding onto him so tight, his fingers were white. 

It took one look around the room to see how hurt everyone is. Lafayette looked like he just wanted to engulf him in the biggest hug ever, Hercules looked crushed that he would say something like that, Angelica looked furious, Peggy had a mix of sadness and anger, and Eliza... Oh Eliza. She had a look on her face that was just sad. Deprecating. Like she wanted to tell him everything.

John was reaching in for a kiss before Alex pushed him away. This supposed boyfriend of his didn't understand. He doesn't know who the hell John is. They may have used to date, but now the circumstances were different. 

Alex didn't have the heart to say this aloud. He just kinda scooted away from John trying to signal 'Now is not the best time.'

John looked at him hurt. "Hey Alex...I know you don't know who I am anymore but... We're dating...Or used to date... If I'm honest I don't know where our relationship stands. But whatever it stands I want to ask you something."

Alex was relieved that he didn't have to be the one to say it.

"Okay...?"

"Please give me a chance. I beg you, please, I'll be the best boyfriend just g-"

"I don't know." Alex cut him off. "Honestly... I don't know. I don't think so. Whatever we had... Is gone. Is hard to rekindle a relationship...so I don't think it's going to work out."

"Please. Oh god please. I can't lose this relationship. Please, just one chance."

"I don't think so. Plus, you're too good for me. I don't deserve someone like you. Or someone at all." Alex trailed off, looking in every direction but John's.

"Oh god, not that bullshit. Alex you deserved to be loved because, Alex, you're amazing. If anything I don't deserve you."

Alex scoffed. "The day that happens will be the day I die. "

Alex couldn't look John in the eye. He heard a slump, as John threw himself against a wall. "I understand."  


He again seemed on the verge of tears. Alex honestly didn't know what to do. 

He heard Lafayette next to John whispering something in French into his ear. 

The Schuylers just silently watched, their hearts breaking inside for the couple. 

They wanted to do something, but the situation rendered them powerless. 

A heavy silence fell upon the room until a nurse came in and told them visiting hours were over. 

Alex thanked his lucky star. He didn't think he could bear the sadness in the room any longer. 

John quietly looked at the man he loved with pain. Everyone looked at him with pain as they exited the tiny room. So much pain. 

That's when Alex knew he fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so I know what your thinking? 
> 
> Why hasn't the day changed we've been known the same day for three fucking chapters
> 
> 1\. I'm honestly too lazy to write it all in one chapter
> 
> 2\. This is one of the more emotional parts of this fic. To me it just made more sense to break it up. 
> 
> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't hesitate to leave kudos or comments!! As you can probably tell I read and reply to all the comments I get so, don't be shy! Your support gives me life.


	6. Who's Washington?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe these people really do like him. They did show up the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOYOYO, hey whats up, it's me. So it's been about a month since I've updated, and honestly I have no excuse. I am just the biggest procrastinator on the face of the earth. If you're reading this, all I can say is thanks for sticking with it. I'm on break right now, so expect a few updates from me.
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy!

The next day was Alex's first day of physical therapy. 

Alex was nervous. He struggled getting into the wheel chair (He couldn't stand up for more than two seconds without sitting down again) let alone walking with a walker. By the end of the whole thing he was completely exhausted, leg burning from what felt like a completely new sensation.

His nurse wheeled him back to his room, the wheels creaking as they made their way along the white tile.

When the nurse opened the door to his room, he was extremely surprised to find everyone from yesterday back, sitting around his empty bed.

"Yo, how you doing?" Peggy asked, her smile shining brighter than the sun.

"Decent. Thanks for asking." Alex responded.

His nurse (with great struggle) helped him back into his bed. 

"Bet you didn't expect to see us." John said. Something was different about John. His hair was messy, and his cheeks were red.

"Nope. I'd give it a few days, though. No one sticks around for more than a week.

Lafayette scowled. "A few days? More like, the rest of your life."

"Doubt it, but okay." Alex chuckled, at both Lafayette, and the extremity of such a thought.

"How was physical therapy?" Hercules asked.

"Mixed feelings. For one, it makes me feel dumb since I can't do one of the most basic human things. And it's exhausting, my legs are on fire. On the other hand, I haven't felt this accomplished since I landed in New York,"

A smirk appeared on everyone's faces. 

"When are you getting out?" John asked, sitting closer to Alex. 

"Said he gave it a month. He doesn't want me staying here much longer. "

"We don't either." Eliza smiled. Suddenly her face brightened. She grabbed his hand. Alex flinched, but quickly relax, because this woman wouldn't hurt anyone.

"We have to show you around New York. You could come by my flower shop, or Peggy's cafe. Wait till you see Herc's studio!"

Everyone around him agreed. Spurring ideas and suggestions. They all planned, when he realized something.

"Where the hell do I live?"

John weakly smiled. "We live together."

"Oh." Alex felt his cheeks burn. He looked down awkwardly.

He looked up at them all. Maybe, just maybe, these people were his friends. They seemed to laugh and talk so easily. He wanted to be apart of that. And the way it seemed they wanted him to  
be apart of it too. They didn't seem to care that he was an orphan or that he was loud and had no filter. That was a first.

There was a ding. Lafayette pulled out his phone. "Washington wants to come by later."

Alex furrowed his brow. "Who's Washington? How many friends do I have?"

They laughed. "More than you'd think, apparently." Laughed Hercules.

"George Washington. The president of the United States." Angelica smirked.

Hamilton nearly choked. "What?"

"Washington. The president of the United States. You work with him, so he's coming to visit." John elaborated.

"Me? You must be mistaken."

"Bro, you're the Secretary of Treasury. Well, were the Treasury of Secretary. Not working for six years tends to get you replaced." Lafayette laughed.

"You're all lying to me. Me, working under the president. Ha, no."

"Better believe it. He's coming at four." Laf said, texting furiously.

"You must be joking."

"Nope."

"So people really do give immigrants a chance." Alex said, voice a whisper.

"You'd be surprised, mon ami."

"Ewww." Angelica said, looking at her phone.

"What is it?" asked Peggy.

"Burr wants to visit." she said, popping the B.

Everyone said "Ew." simultaneously. 

"Who is he?" Alex asked excited. "Is he the vice president?" I mean, he knew the president, so why not.

"Oh god, no." Angelica said quickly. "He's a senator from New York. How he was elected is beyond me, considering he has like, no opinions on anything ever. Always sides with the 'winning' side. He's insufferable.

Alex wrinkled his nose. "Why I would be friends with someone like that?"

She sighed. "Probably because you went to school with him, and you liked to harass him a lot."

He made a hum of approval.

"So, is Washington coming by or not?" Alex asked. 

"Yup." Laf answered checking his phone. 

Alex could feel butterflies jump-roping with the knot in his stomach. 

He still can't comprehend how in his miserable life, met and worked for the president. Or how he wanted to visit him. 

A comfortable silence fell among the room. 

Alex's insides squirms. 

This was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: People start entering his life left and right.
> 
> I cannot thank you all enough for sticking with this, or if you're a first time reader giving it a chance. I'll try not to make my absences that long anymore, but no promises.
> 
> I say this everytime so, here we go. Please don't hesitate to leave a kudo or drop a comment! They give me
> 
> wait for it
> 
> L I F E


	7. Here comes the president.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Washington comes to visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will not procrastinate I shall tell myself. Alright guys. After this Saturday, (December 3rd) I will be trying to follow a schedule. I shall try and update every Saturday to avoid a month long absence. So sit back and enjoy the angst!
> 
> Also: I started a Hamilton fan account on instagram! It's Gotta_get_your_right_hand_man_

Every minute seemed to slow down, as if it was being held back by Alex's nervousness and anticipation.

No matter how he approached the situation, he still couldn't grasp it. The president was going to see him. A bastard immigrant.

Everyone made casual small talk. Alex quietly listened, observing everyone to calm his nerves. 

His eyes went to John. He did have to admit John was rather cute. Alex could see himself in John's lap counting every freckle as he watched him laugh. 

Alex quickly shook the thoughts from his head. He had no chance with John after yesterday. He cringed at the memory. John was way out of his league. Alex knw that if he had given John a chance, they probably wouldn't last long. Alex was one is the most selfish and disappointing beings to ever walk this earth. 

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he noticed a box behind John. He didn't ask about it, but made a mental note of it. 

"Washington's on his way." Laf said, breaking Alex's train of thought.

Alex started sweating from nervousness. He prayed that the others didn't noti-

"You must be nervous, huh?" John said with a half-hearted smile. 

Alex nodded looking down at his bed sheets. 

"Don't be. Washington's a chill dude. You have nothing to worry about." John said reassuringly.

"Thanks..." Alex muttered. 

The freckled man nodded, before his face rested into an emotionless oblivion. 

There was a knock on the door. 

Alex's stomach lurched. His heart rate was going bonkers. His breath hitched as the knob turned. He was about to be faced with one of the most powerful men in the world.

A man stepped in. His skin was a creamy color, and he had a stern look on his face. 

That look instantly melted when he saw Alex. Now it was a mix of awe and shock on his face. No, maybe happiness and shock.

Whatever it was, it didn't matter as he stepped closer into the room. The Secret Service wanted to come in too, but Washington whispered something and ushered them outside the door. 

The door closed with a loud thump. The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. 

He felt everyone's eyes on him at once but that didn't matter, because the President of the United States was hugging him and he didn't know what to do-

"It's so good to see you son."

Alex felt anger bubble inside him at the use of the word "son." but decided to drop it at this moment in time. 

They stayed like that for a few seconds, before Washington pulled apart and stared at him like he was one of the best things in the world.

Alex looked back at him curiosly.

Washington backed up and leaned against the counter. He looked at Alex. 

"I am aware of the situation with your memory, but I'm sure your friends have already told you that you were once Secretary of Treasury, but now have been replaced due to your six year absence. I would like to offer you to be my new speech writer instead. I read the letter you wrote about the storm in Nevis and it was one of the most beautiful pieces of writing that I have ever had the privilege to read. You are more than qualified to work under the president. So, what do you say, son?"

"I'm not your son." Alex snapped instinctively.

His face darkened. He just snapped at the president, who was offering him a job no less, and he probably just screwed it up. His stomach wrenched on how much of an idiot he was. He just screwed up the opportunity of a lifetime.

"I'm so sorry, Mr President. I said that on instinct and probably just screwed up the opportunity of a life time. Oh, who am I kidding, you probably just offered that job out of pity. Every other job I've ever had has been out of pity-"

"It's alright. You were like that when we first met too. And I'm being completely serious about being qualified. That letter tops anything even the White House's senior writers could do."

"You're completely serious?" Alex asked with the need of reassurence.

"Completely." Washington said with a smile. 

Excitement bubbled inside him before he shouted "YES!"

He shrunk. "Sorry, was that too loud?"

They laughed. "You're fine." Herc said. 

Alex turned to Washington. "Thank you so much, sir! You don't know how much this means to me. This is the biggest opportunity I've ever had in my life! And I promise you that I'm not throwing away my shot!"

The room fell silent. Alex looked around nervously.

"I'm sorry, I probably said something, didn't I? God, I can't even remember what I said, I'm such an idiot. It's fine, you all can leave now, I understand-"

"Alex, no. It's just you used to say that all the time..." Eliza began but then trailed off. 

"What?" Alex asked confused

"I'm not throwing away my shot." John answered, looking at him with hope. 

Alex looked back at their hopeful eyes. He tried to remember what they were talking about, but he kept drawing a blank. He strained his mind, trying to come back with anything. 

He looked down. "I'm sorry."

"You know what? We can just make new memories. All of us together, we'll go out like we used too when we were in college or fresh out of it, before we all had jobs. Alex, we're going to make sure you have the time of your life." Peggy said with enthusiasm. 

"She's right. As soon as you get out." Laf pointed at Alex. "You're going to have the time of your life. It's going to be, how you say, 'lit af fam'."

Everyone laughed, including Alex, despite not knowing what it meant.

Alex's kind drifted back to the box behind John. Now it was under his chair.

Soon, he paid it no mind as he felt his consciousness go. Quietly, he slipped into sleep. 

Then, he felt his shoulder being shook. He reluctantly opened his eyes. He was greeted to John looking down at him. For just a moment, he could swear he saw his eyes sparkle. 

"Hey Alex. Visiting hours are over, so I gotta go, but I got you something."

A box was placed in his lap. It was the same one as before.

"I don't know what to say... Thank you."

John chuckled. "No problem. I'll see you soon, alright?"

Alex nodded. "See you." 

John turned to leave. 

"Wait!" The word rolled off of Alex's tounge. 

John faced him. "Yes?"

'I want to give us a try-' Alex hesitated. "Thank you. I'll see you."

John smiled. "Bye."

The door closed, leaving Alex with the box on his lap. 

Slowly, he opened it. Inside was... A scrapbook?

He slowly opened it.

The first page was blank, except for a hand written note on the front.

 

'To my beloved Alexander

Happy anniversary babe! It's official! We've been together for three years and they've been the best three years of my life. I know I say this every day, but I love you so, so much. Everytime you smile my heart does the boom thing I always tell you about. You've been there for me through everything. Between the two of us, we've been through hell and back. I honestly don't deserve this whole relationship. No matter how many times you say otherwise, you will always be too good for me. I kinda put this together to commerate all our times together. Basically, these are the happiest momments in my life, saved forever. Here's to our love and relationship. 

John <3 <3

 

Alex stared open-mouthed at the book, knowing exactly what it was.

He ran his finger down the spine before going back to it's blank maroon pages. He read the message again.

Alex gulped as he turned the page.

The first thing he saw was a photo of him and John. They were on a rug, cuddled up under a blanket. The fireplace illuminated their faces. Alex was laying in John's lap as he stroked his hair. They looked happy. 

Alex smiled at the pureness of the photo. On the otherside of the page was another photo. It was them outside sprawled on the grass. It looked like they were in a forest clearing. Alex was tickling John, who had his face sprung back with laughter. The stars we absolutely breathtaking in the sky, the moon seeming to wink down them.

Alex found himself flipping through the book. There was one where he and John were standing in front of a sign that said "Disney World." Alex remembers his mother talking about it once and how one day, she would take him.

There was one of them with the Schuyler sisters, Peggy holding big scissors, with the biggest grin in the world. They were standing in front of a small building that was decorated in an array of colors. A banner read "Welcome to the Schuyler Cafe."

He noticed a pattern in all the pictures. 

They were all happy.

Alex's mind went to when he told John it wouldn't work.

He smiled softly and looked at the book again.

The happiness they had isn't just something you can get back. And although Alex was successful, (key word being was.) He still couldn't shake the thought of how he was still plauged with misfortune. How he could never be what he once was.

He knew that whoever John knew... Wasn't who he was. Alex is a smart person. He knew that. That's why he could tell who John loved. It was someone who was loud. Opinionated. Successful. 

Alex was those things. But now... He just isn't. 

Alex smiled softly. 

"It's for the best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't you all proud of me I didn't procrastinate this time. 
> 
> Please don't hesitate to leave kudos or comments! They give me L I F E


	8. He'll come around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has a long needed talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID I FOLLOW AN UPDATE SCHEDULE OR DID I FOLLOW AN UPDATE SCHEDULE
> 
> Be proud 
> 
> Any who, I probably should be studying for my midterms. You know what I'm not doing? Studying for my midterms. Enjoy this garbage kids.
> 
> I can't speak French I used google translate
> 
> UPDATE: After reading over this I have realized that the capital is Washington DC not New York. I have done a stupid. It is too late too change so roll with it.

The door landed with a loud thump. John released the breath he didn't know he had been holding.

He wanted more than anything to just run back in the room and just hug and kiss Alex until the world stopped spinning, or when plants stopped growing, and just  _god._

He smirked. He'll never understand how the inside of Lady Fate works. The only thing he could do, really, is to hope that _something_ happened. Whatever that something may be. They just needed something. Anything. 

John made his way to where Herc and Laf were standing at the end of the hallway.

"You ready?" Herc asked swinging his keys around his finger. 

"As I'll ever be." John replied. 

They all walked in sync down to white hallway.

Lafayette broke the silence. "So how'd it go."

John swooned. "His face! He did the thing he used to do when he woke up and he was all sleepy, and  _oh my go-"_

Laf chuckled. "That's not what I asked."

A blush arose on John's cheek. "Oh, right. Well, he looked at me all confused as I handed it to him. I wish I coulda stayed but- well, you know."

They laughed as they entered the bland elevator.

"That's good." Herc said.

They made their way through the colorful lobby and quickly found Herc's old car.

They strapped in and found themselves on the highway.

John looked at his lap and sighed.

Laf reached from the front seat and rubbed his shoulder sympathetically.

"He will come around, mon ami. I will personally make sure of it myself."

John raised an eyebrow. "How exactly do you intend on doing that?"

Laf wiggled his eyebrow. "Do you know how you and Alex would always go on those coffee shop dates in college?"

"Yeah?" John asked nervously.

"Well, we'll do it again. You know that cafe that you pass on the way to work?"

" _Loco Parentis?_ Yeah, I've been there once or twice."

"Good. Trust me."

"Laf, whatever you're thinking, stop." Herc said firmly.

"Oh don't be the, how you say, Debbie doomer."

Herc sighed. "It's Debbie downer."

"I don't care." Laf spat. "I see no issue with my plan." he frowned.

"Well, for one, you are a  _horrible_ matchmaker." Herc said.

"I don't know what you are talking about-" 

"Remember when you tried to set up Burr with Angelica?" Herc frowned.

"Ooh, I remember that. Burr was in the hospital for a month." John said, remembering the salty visits to Burr.

"I don't think he's gotten over that yet."

"Okay, maybe I made a mistake  _once-"_

"That's the only time you've played matchmaker. Nobody's ever allowed you too after that." Herc retorted.

"Yeah, your resume is pretty shitty."

" _Shhhhh"_ Laf held a finger to both their mouths. "Let me work my French magic and all your dreams will come true."

"Whatever you say." John sighed.

Laf grinned like a maniac. " _Trust me."_

The rest of the car ride was silent. John couldn't help but think to back when they first met.

 

 

_It was the beginning of the semester at Columbia University. John was waiting in line with his two best friends to get an over-priced coffee at the university's coffee shop._

_"Laf, are you sure we can't just go buy some instant coffee and call it a day." John groaned._

_The French man looked repulsed by the mere mention. "Have you no class? No taste? Honestly John, that is not real coffee."_

_"Whatever." John rolled his eyes and looked over the line. It was longer than John would have liked it to be. He groaned, knowing they wouldn't be leaving until Laf had his coffee._

_Just then, the bell rung, the ever-so-infamous Aaron Burr walking in, followed by a small Hispanic man. Burr was doing that ever-so-infamous talk less, smile more, smile._

_Herc pinched John. "Who's Burr with?"  He asked._

_"Dunno."  John responded._

_"Let's go harass them." Herc said._

_John laughed. "I'm down."_

_They went over to where Burr and the mysterious man sat. Upon closer look, he realized how fucking gorgeous the man with Burr was. He had this brown hair that he kept in a ponytail, which matched his eyes. Oh god his eyes-_

_They were deep pools of chocolate that John could swim in forever. It was a pool that John wanted nothing more then to just swim down and stay there until eternity ended._

_"Is that Aaron Burr I see?" Hercules said, leaning in on the small table by the window._

_Aaron's audible groan spoke 1000 words._

_Sure, John's heart was beating faster than a cockroach fleeing death, but he would never miss an opportunity to screw with Burr._

_"How's the wife?"  John asked smirking, trying not to look at the Hispanic man._

_Another groan. "Currently I am not seeing anyone Jonathan."_

_John winked at Burr. "there's a rumor going around you got a special someone you ain't telling the masses about."_

_Aaron visibly cringed. "Really?" he asked coldly._

_"Uh huh."_

_Burr buried his face in his hands._

_"Now do tell us who your guest is." Hercules said, looking at the man._

_The man shot up. "My name is Alexander Hamilton! I'm at your service!" he said quickly._

_"Hercules! John!" Laf yelled from across the cafe. "What are you doing?"_

_"Yo, Laf! Come look, Burr has a friend."_

_"Impossible," Laf walked over to the table, holding a coffee cup. He looked at Alexander. "Who is this?"_

_Alexander looked awe-struck at three of them. He wasn't scared. He looked more... amused._

_"Alexander Hamilton." He reached out his hand. Lafayette gladly took it._

_"Bonjour! Je'mapelle Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette!"_

_Alex smiled. "Je parle français, si vous préférez."_

  _Lafayette squealed and shook John's arm. "Il est francophone! Peut-on le garder?"_

_John laughed. "Maybe. You wanna come watch a Disney movie marathon with us?" John smiled at him._

_Alex smiled right back. "I'd love too."_

_Oh god, what was John thinking? He hadn't even exchanged ten words with the guy before asking him back to his place. What has he done?!?_

_But he accepted, and oh god was out worth it just to see that smile. It raised his grades and cleared his skin._

_"Nice chattin' with you Burr, but if you'll excuse us, we have Disney to marathon."_

_They laughed as they made their way to the exit. John motioned for Alex to come with them. "You coming?"_

_"Huh? Oh, yeah!" Alex promptly wished Burr a good day and followed them out the door and into the street._

_They walked down the chapped New York sidewalk._

_Lafayette cleared his throat. "So, we must make the most important decision. What movie shall we watch first?"_

_"Let's let our new friend choose." Herc said._

_They all looked at Alex. He seemed to shrink into himself. He looked at his feet._

_"I've actually never seen a Disney movie before-"_

_He was cut off by a gasp from Lafayette, a screech of horror from John, and a disappointing silence from Herc._

_"You've never what?!?" Herc said grasping his arm._

_"Mon ami, this is unacceptable. C'mon!" Laf grabbed the boy's hand and practically ran back to John's apartment. Laf didn't even wait for John to catch up, instead using the spare key under the mat._

_John didn't watch the movie that was playing, but was watching Alex fondly._

_Alex watched the screen fondly. He laughed and he cried through the five movies they watched. John stayed awake as the others fell asleep._

_John remembered listening to the even breathing of Alex on the floor and the rise and fall of his chest. That's all he remembered before falling asleep._

 

 

John sighed happily at the memory. That was one of the best days of his life. He couldn't even remember what they were watching. 

"John," Herc's voice snapped him back to reality. "Get outta my car." 

He was faced with his very own apartment building. "Bye guys. See you at work tomorrow."

He promptly exited the car and entered the building. 

John kept his head down as he trudged up the stairs and into his apartment.

He sat down on his old couch. The very same couch as that say ten years ago (Had it really been that long? John needed a new couch.)

He ran a hand through his hair. This was his and Alex's apartment. And it's been six years since it's been the way it's meant to be. 

He picked up the photo of him and Alex on the couch.

He pulled it close to his chest. What would Alex say, him being so poetic?

That he was holding Alex to his heart when he wasn't there? 

John snorted. 

Wasn't that the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyooooo. Hope you enjoyed.
> 
> I have no friends this is a cry for help please message me on tumblr or instagram  
> (Tumblr: GeneticPhysco Instagram:Gotta_get_your_right_hand_man) Im bored and need friends
> 
> Hope you have a nice day <3
> 
> Translations: Je parle français, si vous préférez= I speak French if you prefer.
> 
>  
> 
> Il est francophone! Peut-on le garder?= He speaks French! Can we keep him?


	9. Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding with the Schuyler's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EY
> 
> How everyone doing? Not much to say here but I hope you all are having a wonderful day! Enjoy!

Physical therapy ended like yesterday's. He made a bit of progress, before retreating back to his room. 

Much to his surprise, no one was there. 

He didn't know whether he was sad or elated, but it didn't matter because a very-sad looking jell-O had been placed in front of him. 

The doctor smiled. "I know it's not the best, but as soon as you can handle bread and meat, you can order whatever the heck you want. You're making excellent progress. If all goes well, you could be out in four days."

Alex smiled. "Thank you. For everything, actually. I know I'm not the best person in the world to take care of."

The doctor chuckled. "It's my pleasure. You're one of the best patients I've had in a long time. I'll go, your friends should be here any minute."

 _There goes the quiet._ He thought as he waved goodbye to the doctor. 

When the door burst open, Angelica strutted in followed by her Eliza.

"What is up?" She said. Angelica had a natural kind of swagger that would be absolutely ridiculous on any one else. 

"I am eating lunch." He pointed to the floppy jell-o.

She scrunched up her face. "Ew."

Alex shrugged. "It's what you get when you can't digest bread or meat."

"Anyway! Maria's coming by later." Eliza said enthuisiasticlly.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

"Maria Lewis."

 "And what's my connection to her?"

"Well when you and I used to date, you met her at a bar. You ended up cheating on me with her. Well, she found out I existed, came to me and apologized. We were dating a month later" She said proudly. 

Alex mouth stood agape, not at the absurdity of the story, but of his actions.

Back on the island, his father would always come home with the trace of other woman on him. Alex was always disgusted on how he so easily did such a thing. 

Alex couldn't believe himself. He was a monster. 

He grabbed Eliza's hand. "I am completely sorry for my actions. Infidelity is never acceptable and I am utterly disgusted I would do such a thing. If you don't find it in your heart to forgive me, I completely understand." He said sincerely.

Angelica put a hand on her heart. "When did he go from this sweet child to man-horror he became?"

Alex's face darkened. "Have I done anything else? I am deeply sorry, please forgive me."

Eliza chuckled. "It's alright. I forgived you a long time ago."

"Thank you for your kindness. I wouldn't forgive myself." Alex said whole-heartedly. 

"Seriously, who corrupted this sweet Caribbean child?" Angelica said. 

"My best guess is Laf." Eliza said through her laughter. 

"Alex?" Angelica said, taking out her phone. 

"Yes ma'am?"

"Can you please say what you just said again? At the phone."

Alex smiled softly. "Sure."

He turned to face the camera. 

He cleared his throat. "I, Alexander Hamilton, uh, apologize for anything I may have done or am doing that upsetted you. Please let me know what I did, and I'll try my best to fix it. Infidelity is never acceptable and I, uh, made a huge mistake. I understand if you can't find it in yourself to forgive me. I sure wouldn't forgive me."

Angie gave a thumbs up. "That's good."

"Was it good? Do I need to redo it?" he asked. 

"Nope. It's perfect. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Angie wasted no time sending the video to the group chat with John, Laf, Herc, Eliza, and Peggy in it. 

 

**AngieTheAngel: WHICH ONE OF YOU F U C K S CORRUPTED THIS INNOCENT CARIBBEAN CHILD**

**JohnLoLo: ang we're at work can you not**

**AngieTheAngel: SweetCaribbeanChild.video**

**FrenchiestFrench: I AM CRYIMG**

**NotTheGod: HE'S SO SWEET??  PROTECT HIM???**

**JohnLoLo: HES SO CUTE IVHVUCU**

**JohnLoLo: The way he stutters??  My heart???**

**PegLeggy: ARE WE IGNORING THE FACT HE'S APOLOGIZING FOR SOMETHING HE DID EIGJT YEARS AGO**

**FrenchiestFry: ANGIE YOU CANNIT DO THIS TO US VUVGUGIBK**

Angelica smirked facing Hamilton and Eliza again.

Alex turned back to Eliza. 

"I feel really bad. Please let me make it up to you when I get out."

"No, Alex, really I'm fine."

"Please?" Alex asked again.

Angelica shushed her sister. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well... Uh.. I don't have much money... Maybe I could play you piano?"

Eliza cocked her head. "You play piano?"

"Yeah. My mama taught me on the island " 

"Huh." Eliza said. She promptly entered the chat. 

**Betsy: Did you guys know Alex played piano??**

**FrenchiestFrench: what**

**NotTheGod: what**

**PegLeggy: what**

**PegLeggy: John?**

**JohnLoLo: Hey don't look at me he never mentioned it**

**FrenchiestFry: I wanna see him play**

**Betsy: He said he'd play once he got out but idk**

 

 She turned off her phone. "That would be wonderful, thank you."

Alex smiled. "It's my pleasure."

Just then there was knock at the door. 

Maria walked in, beauty, swagger and all. Her eccentric red lips matched perfectly with her red jacket, black shirt, and short shorts.

"Hey, hey, it's mama Maria." Maria laughed as she stepped inside. 

She quickly kissed Eliza's cheek, hugged Angelica, and then turned to face Alex. Her face softened, a soft smile falling upon it. 

She hugged him. "You don't know how great it is to see you."

Alex hugged back gently. "Hello. You look very beautiful today ma'am."

Maria looked confused. "Thank you..." she sat down next to Eliza before whispering "Is this the right guy?"

"You don't know?" Eliza began. 

Maria shook her head no. 

Eliza sighed and whispered "Well, he doesn't remember anything past arriving to America when he was sixteen."

The girl's face darkened. "Oh."

Alex's face brightened. "That reminds me. The doctor says that if all goes well, I should be able to get out in four days."

Eliza smiled. "That's great! Wait till you see New York City. You're going to love Peggy's cafe. Oh and Herc's studio! You're going to love it."

 "Don't forget to mention Eliza's flower shop with a florist who just happens to be incredibly adorable." Maria chirped in casually. Eliza blushed.

"PDA, girls. PDA." Angelica reminded. It was Maria's turn to laugh.

For the next four hours they all talked and laughed about about anything really. 

It was nice. 

Really nice. 

Angelica had just finished a story about how her coworker wanted to fake his death and flee the country for spilling ink of her boss' deck, when there was a knock.

It was the doctor. "Ladies? Visiting hours are over. Mr. Hamilton over here needs as much rest as he can get."

Maria and Eliza kissed him on the cheek, Angelica giving him a hug. 

He goodbye as they smiled at him.  

They left Hamilton to stare at the Jell-O he never ate.

 

 

 

 

 

"Hello losers." Angelica said as she entered.

Lafayette and Hercules were on the floor playing scrabble.

Angelica sat by them, followed by Maria, Eliza, and Peggy. 

"How was it?" Hercules asked throwing down an S. 

"Good. He was so sweet. I've never heard him be that nice in my life." Angelica said, eyeing the game.

"He called me a beautiful ma'am." Maria followed up. 

"He offered to play me piano." Eliza said. 

"It's odd." Peggy commented.

"Hmm?" Lafayette asked.

"He's never mentioned piano once. And we all know Alex, he doesn't miss an opportunity to brag."

"She's right. It is odd." Hercules said. 

"Maybe he's just bad." Laf suggested. 

"Maybe," Angelica said.

An uncomfortable silence fell upon them as the game continued.

"What are we going to do about Alex and John?"

It was Lafayette who broke the silence.

Angelica sighed. "I don't know. Maybe it's best we don't do anything at all. Alex did reject John."

"But we can't just  _not_ do anything." Laf said. 

Herc shrugged. "He's right. I was in the same room with John when you sent us the video. When he watched, I swear his eyes turned into hearts. And I am 99% sure he swooned."

"Alex and John were soul mates. I don't think we can recreate what they had." Eliza sighed. 

"John is going to be heart-broken." Peggy said sadly. 

"Maybe they just need to spend time together." The Frenchman said hopefully.

"That's inevitable. Even if Alex doesn't like that, they still live together." Angelica said wistfully.

"I really hope it works out. They were made for each other." Maria said wistfully.

"I remember how bad he was when Alex first went into a coma." Peggy said quietly.

"He was devastated." Laf said.

A heavy silence fell as they remorsed the aftermath of the accident that changed their lives.  

_John took one last sip of the cheap beer before putting the foul-smelling bottle next to the rest of the empty bottles._

_The apartment was a mess. Both a mix of Alex and his clothes were on the floor. He had ripped a picture of him and Alex off the wall, and the room reeked of acholol._

_John's face was marked with tear-stained steaks. He went to his fridge and pulled out another, twisting off the cap. His hair was loose and disheveled and he had not showered for days. He took a gulp, when there was a knock._

_"It's open." John said, taking another sip._

_Lafayette and Hercules stepped, noises wrenching at the horrid smell._

_"What brings you both here?" John said, bringing the bottle to his lips once more._

_"John..." Laf's eyes fell upon the bottles. "How many beers have you drunk today?"_

_"Not enough," John said placing the bottle on the counter._

_Herc and Laf started picking up the clothes and trying to fix the apartment._

_"Don't bother. It's going to just become a mess again." John said, downing half the bottle._

_Laf and Herc looked at each other, reaching a silent agreement._

_Herc walked over to where John was standing in the kitchen. Out of nowhere, he snatched the beer from John's hands._

_"Hey!" John said, started. "Give that back."_

_"Don't do this to yourself, John. It isn't what Alex would have wanted." Herc said, pouring out the bottle._

_"Stop talking about him, like he's dead." John said quietly, making it inaudible to all but him._

_"What?" Laf asked._

_"STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM LIKE HE'S DEAD." John yelled. Tears started spilling from his eyes like rain drops. He stumbled back into a wall before his knees gave out. He fell to the floor, his face buried in his knees._

  _Each tear splattered on the floor. Lafayette and Hercules sat next to him, wrapping their arms around his shoulder._

_"Shhh, we know, we know." Lafayette said in an attempt to calm him down._

_"It's my fault, Laf. I did it. He's not waking up because of me. If I hadn't been so stu-"_

_"Don't say that, John. Alex did what he did for you. It. Was. Not. Your. Fault." Hercules said, rubbing circles into his shoulders._

_"Can you stand up?" Laf asked._

_John nodded slowly, accepting the Frenchman's hand._

_"Do you want to say with us for a few days?" Herc asked._

_John nodded. "That would be nice."_

_"Alright, come on buddy." Herc said, opening the door. "Don't worry, John. The doctors said it wasn't fatal. He should wake up later this week."_

_John smiled at his friends attempt to comfort him._

_"What are we waiting for? Come on!" Laf said as he ran out the door._

_It was Laf. John couldn't help but follow. The door shut with a slam._

_Alex did not wake up that week._

Lafayette and Hercules shuddered at the memory. It was miserable, watching John go through that. Herc silently prayed to every god there was that things would work out. For everyone. 

Everyone was lost in thought, all with the same thing on their mind. 

_What comes next?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Please don't hesitate to leave a kudo or comment they give me L I F E


	10. Strange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for some Herc and Laf bonding time with Alexander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> None of this is medically accuracte, he'd probably be in the hospital for like a month, but I'm bumping it down so rip. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!  
> I promise big developments next chapter!

This had been one of the most exciting day of Alex's life. 

It was official. He could walk again. 

At first it was baby steps. Short steps with constant support and plenty of breaks. Now, he could walk to and from his room without getting tired. He wanted to run there, but soon learned that would require a bit more practice.

Alex beamed as he approached his door. He took a deep breath and turned the handle. 

Inside his room were Hercules and Lafayette. Alex looked around for John. He wasn't there. Alex felt a small pang of disappointment, but quickly brushed it off. 

Laf and Herc smiled at him, standing up. 

"Alex, you're walking!" Lafayette said excitedly. 

Alex returned his excitement. "I know!" he wiggled his legs. 

"Yo, congrats man. Walking after six years of bed rest is no easy feat." Herc said patting him on the back. 

Alex laughed. "Thank you. Hey, uh, where's John?"

Lafayette looked at Hercules. "He's helping Peggy out at cafe."

Alex shrugged. "Oh, okay."

There was a knock. It was the doctor, coat whipping in the air as he entered. 

"Good morning Mr. Hamilton! I've hear heard you are able to walk again." The doctor smiled, pushing up his glasses.

Alex nodded eagerly. 

"That's good. Gentlemen, may I speak with you for a second?"

Laf looked at Hercules before nodding and following the doctor out of the room. 

That left Alex to stare at the potted plant next to him. It was an arrangement of all sorts of flowers, ranging from roses to daisies. The pot was nice, it was a gorgeous white one with a beautiful design of colors painted all over it. 

His eyes fell upon the card. He picked it up. 

_To: My love, Alexander_

_From: Forever yours, John_

Oh. He stopped looking at the flowers. 

To his thanks, that was when Laf and Herc re-entered. And they were smiling. 

"Good news dude! Your discharge date has just been confirmed for tomorrow. They're gonna have to run a few tests first, but if everything's good, you're all set for 4:00 tomorrow."

Alex smiled. "That's great!" 

Hercules smiled softly. "Isn't it?"

Alex's face darkened. "Uh,  please be honest when I ask this... Why am I here?"

All air seemed to escape the room. Not a breath could be heard.

 Lafayette scooted his chair uncomfortablely. "Mon ami, I'm not sure we are the one to tell you."

Alex cocked his head. "Why? Is it bad?"

"It's not that...It's, uh... How do you describe it?" Hercules pondered for a second. "Personal."

"What the heck is that supposed to mean?" 

"It just means that we're not the ones that should be telling you, that's all." Laf said, edging on his seat. 

"Please just be honest, I can handle it, I've been through worse, please-"

"We're not the ones who should tell you, so just drop it Alex!" Hercules said, raising his voice. 

An awkward silence filled the room. Alex couldn't bear it.

"So, uh, Lafayette...What do you do for a living?" 

"Oh, me?" He perked up at the chance to break the awkwardness. "I'm the head of international affairs at the White House."

"Oh, uh, that's cool I guess." Alex said, smiling.

"Speaking of the White House, Burr said he was coming later." Hercules said, scratching his arms. 

Alex scrunched up his nose. "Isn't that the guy with no opinions?"

"That's the one."

"Ew." 

Laf chuckled. "You're not the only one."

"So, while we wait, Mulligan and I got you a present we want you to open!"

Alex looked confused. "Who's Mulligan?"

"Oh, Hercules. Sorry,  sometimes I refer to him as that, it's just his last name. Anywho, that's not important! Your present!"

Laf pulled out a box wrapped in red wrapping paper. He shoved it at Alex. "Here!"

Alex thrust it back. "I can't accept this." 

 Hercules put it back in his hands. "Please, it's from us." 

"No, if anything I should be giving you gifts. You've all shown my nothing but kindness, I don't deserve your gifts." 

Laf smiled at him. "Nope, it's yours! Open it!"

Alex looked at them hesitantly before finding a piece of tape to open it at. 

It was a leather note book, with three black pens. Alex ran his finger on the leather. 

"It's beautiful... Thank you. I'll pay you back when I get a job."

Laf looked confused. "No, no, no, it's a gift. We do not want anything from you."

"Uh, uh. If I've learned anything on the island, it's what is free today will cost you tomorrow."

"Well this is completely free." Hercules said crossing his arms. 

"Nope." Alex said smugly.

"Alex, ple-" there was another knock on the door, cutting the Frenchman off.

A tall man entered. He had dark skin and a stern look on his face. 

Laf looked back at Alex. "We'll finish this later."

Alex smirked and looked back at the newcomer. "You must be Aaron Burr, sir."

Aaron groaned. "You just woke up from a coma, and you're already at it, I see."

Just by the way Burr talked, Alex could tell what type of person Burr was. This would be fun. 

"Care to elaborate, my good friend Burr?"

Another groan. "God, you've never changed."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Oh, please do tell Mr. Burr, sir."

"Well, it was one of the worst days of my life," Burr began.

The Hispanic man got comfy. He couldn't wait to hear this story.

 

 

_It was a fairly decent day for one Aaron Burr. He had gotten an A on his paper on why voting in your local community is so important. He was on his way to treat himself to a nice coffee on the campus cafe._

_He walked along the side walk, bag slung over his shoulder._

_"Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?"_

_He whipped around to face a young, Hispanic man._

_"Who's asking?"  He said cautiously._

_"Well, my name is Alexander Hamilton, and I heard you were the young prodigy who was fast-tracking through Princeton. Well, I soon hope to do the same."_

_"Good luck with that." Aaron said, quickening his pace._

_Alexander sped up next to him._

_"How'd you do it?"_

_"It was my parents wish before they passed. They worked here, my mother was a proffesor and my father was a famous lawyer."_

_Alexander brightened. "You're an orphan! I'm an orphan! Of course! It all makes sense."_

_Huh. This kid was interesting. "Can I buy you a drink?"_

_"That would be nice."_

_They walked in silence._

_"So, uh, how're you liking the campus?" Aaron asked awkwardly._

_"Oh it's great! It's pretty nice so far, but the libraries are so far from the dorms-"_

_He talked for five minutes about the inconvienent distance between each building._

_Aaron was getting tired of it._

_"I don't even want to begin to imagine the troubles that a biologist has to face in the morning-"_

_"Alright Alexander, I'm going to stop you there. You seem like a nice guy, but let me give you some advice."_

_Alex raised an eyebrow._

_"Talk less."_

_Alex look disgusted. "What?"_

_"Smile more."_

_"Huh."_

_"And don't bring up your opinions when you first meet someone. You never know what they could believe in."_  

_Alex shot Burr a look that screamed 'What the Fuck.'  "You can't be serious."_

_"Completely serious." Burr replied._

_They walked in silence. The waited in line in silence. In fact, the silence was so strong, it didn't break until two particular men came barging up to their table._

"That's the worst advice I've ever heard. And i come from a poor, desperate island with people as equally poor and desperate. I've heard some pretty shit advice."

Burr groaned. "Even out of a coma, you are still charming as ever." 

"Upon meeting you again, you are still as insufferable as when we first met."

"Still, Alexander, our differences aside, it is still nice to see you again Alexander." Burr said with a soft tone.

"Hm, can't say the same for you." Alex said, expecting another groan from Burr and him to roll his eyes.

He did not expect the seemingly sad look on Burr's face. Alex wish he could take what he aid back. But, alas he could not. So he did the next best thing.

He changed the topic.

"So, I heard you are a senator." Alex said awkwardly.

"Yes." Burr responded with a monotone voice.

"That's nice, I guess."

The room was painfully awkward. Alex made a mental note to get Burr a present later. He felt really bad.

There was a knock at the door.

"Hey everyone, I know this isn't when visiting hours usually end, but the sooner we get these final tests done the sooner, Alex gets to go home tomorrow." The doctor said as he entered.

"Of course." Lafayette said, standing up. Hercules nodded. Burr just sat.

Hercules and Lafayette hugged Alex as they said their goodbyes. Burr just gave him a nod of acknowledgement before leaving the room quickly.

Alex felt bad for Burr. Despite his already negative opinion, he still wanted to comfort him. He made a mental note to buy Burr something once he got out.

The door creaked open, a nurse peeking in.

"Hello Mr. Hamilton!" She smiled. "Before we can let you go, we're going to have to do some tests, alright. We're just going to test your white blood cell levels, alright."

Alex nodded.

"Okay, this might hurt a bit," she said sticking the needle in his arm.

Alex wasn't focused on the pain. He was focused on tomorrow. 

He was focused on what the future is going to hold for him.

But most of all, he was focused on what his insane friends had in store for him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE DECIDED THAT I WILL BE UPLOADING THE NEXT CHAPTER ON MONDAY!  
> I am honestly so excited to write it that I will be writing it right after this one goes up!! Really excited. MERRY CHRISTMAS YALL. 
> 
> Please don't hesitate to leave kudos and/or comments they are why I get up in the morning.
> 
> (Ask any author ever, comments are like serious motivation, So it's important to leave comments on every fic, not just this one. )

**Author's Note:**

> Well there it is! I'm pretty proud of myself. Updates are random, so Idk.
> 
> Going to warn you now- this is going to be SUPER angsty. It's not even funny.


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